Book Review: Modern Romance by Aziz Ansari
Modern Romance by Aziz Ansari
Publisher: Penguin Audio
Release Date: June 16, 2015
My rating: 5 of 5 stars
Publisher’s Description:
At some point, every one of us embarks on a journey to find love. We meet people, date, get into and out of relationships, all with the hope of finding someone with whom we share a deep connection. This seems standard now, but it’s wildly different from what people did even just decades ago. Single people today have more romantic options than at any point in human history. With technology, our abilities to connect with and sort through these options are staggering. So why are so many people frustrated?
Some of our problems are unique to our time. “Why did this guy just text me an emoji of a pizza?” “Should I go out with this girl even though she listed Combos as one of her favorite snack foods? Combos?!” “My girlfriend just got a message from some dude named Nathan. Who’s Nathan? Did he just send her a photo of his penis? Should I check just to be sure?”
But the transformation of our romantic lives can’t be explained by technology alone. In a short period of time, the whole culture of finding love has changed dramatically. A few decades ago, people would find a decent person who lived in their neighborhood. Their families would meet and, after deciding neither party seemed like a murderer, they would get married and soon have a kid, all by the time they were twenty-four. Today, people marry later than ever and spend years of their lives on a quest to find the perfect person, a soul mate.
For years, Aziz Ansari has been aiming his comic insight at modern romance, but for Modern Romance, the book, he decided he needed to take things to another level. He teamed up with NYU sociologist Eric Klinenberg and designed a massive research project, including hundreds of interviews and focus groups conducted everywhere from Tokyo to Buenos Aires to Wichita. They analyzed behavioral data and surveys and created their own online research forum on Reddit, which drew thousands of messages. They enlisted the world’s leading social scientists, including Andrew Cherlin, Eli Finkel, Helen Fisher, Sheena Iyengar, Barry Schwartz, Sherry Turkle, and Robb Willer. The result is unlike any social science or humor book we’ve seen before.
In Modern Romance, Ansari combines his irreverent humor with cutting-edge social science to give us an unforgettable tour of our new romantic world.
I fell in love with Aziz after watching his Netflix series Master of None. When I heard he had written a book, I knew I had to get it. Modern Romance is different from the kind of book most comedians write. It’s not a memoir or his stand-up routines re-hashed in book form. He and sociologist Eric Klinenberg have written a well-written study of dating in today’s world. Aziz’s humor makes what would have been a dry non-fiction book hilarious. I listened to the audio version – Aziz narrates it himself. Listening to his delivery made it even funnier. This book is for everyone. If you are in the dating pool, you will feel validated. If you are married, like me, you will be SO glad that you aren’t in today’s dating world. Highly recommended.
